The road from Asgard
by Ioik
Summary: Sequel to Asgard. Karian Motter, an ex waitress from London, finds herself back in Asgard continuing to argue with everything that breathes and fighting against what is "good" for her but the distant past, including the one she knows nothing about, is rearing its head and about to put on a sickly sweet smile. Plus her love life is getting seriously weird now. OCxPeople
1. Chapter 1: A sour feast

White sheets, smooth under her fingertips, a plump pillow dented by the side of her face, a wandering hand sliding over the edge of the bed in search of cool air. It was still dark in the room but the telltale signs of yet another repetitive solar event on course shifting the ink coloured sky outside into a navy twinkled with stars. She was too warm, her mind burning up with sleepy dream picked thoughts as her toes curled and stretched under blankets much like a waking cat.

With a rustle of bedding, Karian Motter, rolled onto her back away from the window and angled her neck to get a better look across to the silhouette that lay besides her. Air was sucked in, then released slowly through her nose as she carefully lifted away the blanket in a bid for freedom; her legs tossed out first, finding purchase of the ground below with a relieving coolness. It really was much to hot here, in this bed, besides him. Her bare feet were like well trained guide dogs, carrying swaying weight across the gap from bed to balcony but she did not venture out further than the exit with its drapes behind her in case of passers-by; not that there were likely to be any when so high above a great lake but nonetheless the reassurance was something worth the proximity.

How long had it been now? Two, three, closing in on four months since she last returned to Asgard in an irritated sweaty ball of no-hair-mousse-in-the-nine-realms-can-handle-this frizz. Oh, and Thor and prisoner Loki had been there of course but that went without saying. Jumping off the side of a skyscraper had really managed to fuddle her brain their for a few days; it really was somewhere in the realms of most silliest thing she had ever done but perhaps the lack of McFlurry with her McChicken sandwich was to blame. Still, landing on an alien's head as he flew by had really been a once in a lifetime experience, much like the part where they crashed through the window of a law firm and she somehow managed to flip during the momentum and land on the comfiest office chair since forever. If only her bid to flee the city and escape the CIA, asgardian gods and bailiffs had gone to plan but hey, that's what the NSA was for right? Tracking down harangued young women and giving them a full cavity search. Okay, well, maybe the cavity search thing really did not occur but by the rather interesting puse colour, Agent Something-face, had been turning during a rather unamusing interrogation it was not far behind. Thank god for Thor whacking his hammer through a wall and shouting a rather interesting threat involving someone's ancestor and a biblical reckoning resulting in a releasing of a certain curly haired detainee into his responsibility.

As much as she dreaded it, as much as she had argued and at one point kicked her blonde protector, the journey back to asgard was probably the right choice than staying on a home she once knew as Earth. The indignation, worry and eye stinging tears had made the roller-coaster rainbow ride at least bearable, or perhaps that was just her bodies way of telling her everything was going to be all right now; and it was going to be all right now, her grandfather told her so. And then there was this, now.

"What are you doing?" A low voice, etched with sleep, rumbled towards her from the bed.

Kari sighed, holding back the flood of questions long enough to enjoy the bathing glow of gold sifting over the horizon to cast light upon her face. A beautiful morning, like the one before and the next there after, always and forever. Her lips parted as if ready to devour the sun and yet it was a yawn that finally escaped as she turned to the man still watching her on his pillow cuddling side. He smiled wistfully, at the way the sunlight traced the outside of her naked form, before his attention fully resurfaced back to her words.

"I need to get back before Fandral notices I'm missing." She answered his question in half-truth as her padding feet once again guided her along a well known route about the warrior's home.

"You believe he does not know of us?" He half-joked, his eyes trained on admiring the way his nightly bed partner bent to retrieve her underwear, discarded on the floor.

"Hah!" Kari chuckled at her lovers attempt at humour, pushing her hair to the side in order to fasten a ironically white bra. "I believe he thinks I'm still in my room so he can hassle me awake and whatever."

"You will come this time, will you not?" The way his tone fluctuated from high optimism to low knowing did not go unregistered as a mid-length midnight blue dress was stepped into, adjusted and finally fastened with no occurring response. "Odin will be furious and I know not if his rage can be defeated if you fail to attend once more."

"Balder..." Kari paused, her back to the naked man in question, as she fumbled with matching flat shoes in her hands. "Do you love me?" The way her tone too fluctuated did not go unnoticed, though the silence in the room still stung. "Then what does it matter?"

With a shrug, slipping her shoes into a two finger dangle by her left side, she began a prideful walk of shame away from the scene of a old world moral crime; free hand lifted in a backwards curt wave as she disappeared from his bedroom. No doubt the warrior was probably sitting in there frowning to himself as he usually did when brooding and holding all his feelings in like a well trained man-child. He would forget about it later, or formulate some sort of simple gesture to pander to her vanity if she did not manage to scorn him somehow later on; and she was most definitely going to grate his nerves in a few hours.

Ever since she had arrived back to Asgard, gotten herself a really boring lecture from ole one-eye, been almost hugged to death by her grandfather and squealed in ridiculous joy at a basket full of Griffin coloured kittens – Fandral was so not letting her keep all of them – coming face to face with Balder again had been at the forefront of her mind. Of course, being the wandering adventure type asgardian, that had not come to fruition for almost three full, anguishing, months. She had wanted to get it over with at first, have a bicker, someone call someone's mother a llama and then officially break up so all the wounds could start healing; the actual first meeting had been a tad more complicated however. With all that pending time to think, a grandfather to do a little perspective placing, quite a bit of wine and ale, a lap full of mewling puss-cats and time to get over previous traumas, well, what she had hoped for and thought best became an impossible task.

There he had sat on his pebbled coloured horse, Kari and Fandral sparring most of the afternoon till both glistening with sweat from a mixture of exertion and summertime heat, and she found her eyes so very brazen in their staring. Love, lust, who cared, she felt like iron attracted to a magnet and the strangeness, unique in her short lifetime, was worth the exploration further. Well, until Odin had decided to get involved.

"My dear?" Fandral's worried tone danced across the room, through the open window and right into his granddaughter's alert ears as she dangled haphazardly on outer brickwork.

"Y-yeah, just a second, granddad." Kari shouted in a flustered manner as her fingers finally found purchase on the windowsill and she began pulling herself up and over the threshold back into her own room.

"Kari, what is occuring?" The moustache wielding swordsman tried knocking at the same time as demanding answer as if this might hurry a response after quite a bit of thudding and 'oohing' from the other side of a locked door.

"Nothing, what do you want?"

"You know what I- that is, what is happening."

"You know I'm not going." She was back on her feet now, tossing her shoes into a corner and beginning to undress from last evenings I am sorry for upsetting you but this dress comes off easy outfit.

"My dear-"

"Don't you "my dear" me!" She cut through his patronising tone like a warm knife to butter. "You're supposed to be on my side about this."

"Is it not for the best?"

"For who?" Kari froze, now in only her underwear yet again, as she eagerly awaited an answer to a question she was sure would not go in anyone's favour but her own.

"You, my dear."

"Argh!"

"Is that a roar of submission? Have you finally succumbed-"

"Granddad!" Kari slumped onto the edge of her bed, a cloth in one hand wiping away whatever make-up was left on her face. "He doesn't love me and I don't think I love him." There was a rather strange noise coming from behind her bedroom door, one that sounded reminiscent of choking and caused her heart to flutter in a moments fear for her very old in deed, but looking about the same age as his granddaughter, grandfather. "Granddad? Are you laughing at me? Oh my god!"

"I apologize, fear not, I am on your side, my dear, whether you believe it or not." Fandral fought against the urge to continue laughing at such lovers quarrels and antics; especially when it now sounded as if his daughter's daughter was flinging things around in a rage. "Can we not save love until after the wedding? There will be honey mead."

"You are not bribing me to come out with honey mead." She huffed back, furious at the implication and forcing on a pair of old jeans from her chest of draws. "What kind of whore do you take me for?"

"I suppose I could spare some coins and-"

"GRANDDAD!"

"You began this line of enquiry, Kari, please." The level of sigh in the man's voice was almost overwhelming enough to swallow his manners.

"I don't care what that stupid old man says or how angry his wrinkly face gets, I am not marrying Balder or anyone else!" She began fishing about in her wardrobe for hiking boots bought from some asgardian shop and smelling oddly of goat at all times. "Things are fine the way they are!"

"I agree, truly."

"But...?" Her brow arched as she drooped back on her bed and began doing up shoelaces with a hint of sarcasm in every knot and tie.

"But, why not pander to the all fathers strange decree. You will only end up married to, Balder, in a few years or so anyway."

"You are so against me it isn't even true!"

"Kari-"

"No!"

"Kari!"

"I said NO!"

"Kari, if you do not come out I will break down this door and drag you to your intended myself!" Fandral's composure, finally reaching its limit when confronted with such ruthless disobedience and out right danger educing disrespect, gave way to granddad with a backbone and an additional level of decibels to bellow back with. "Kari?"

However, as with the past two mornings, of the same repeating scene unfolding, the shouting match had not gone in the exhaustedly exhaling blonde's favour. Instead, Kari had once again tied back her hair, thrown on a coat, and climbed back out the window to the balcony on the floor below. What she had not counted on, during her third daring escape in exactly the same way as the last two times, was that her grandfather and his warrior friends would catch on and actually formulate their own sneaky plans.

"Ah ha!" Volstagg roared with pride as he cornered the mischievous waif slipping down a column to the garden below. "Now, lass, we cannot have you scurrying away to your rabbit hole during a day such as this. You are getting married! And on such a fine and sunny day. An omen I am sure of golden times ahead."

"Volstagg..." Kari really leaned in to her most impressive of pouts to date.

"No. No sweet pity filled maidens eyes will wrestle I from my mission today. Balder the brave and noble has waited two mornings and afternoons full for your presence and not a day further. I do not believe the wedding feast will last further delay from mould and sour and what a waste of food that would be."

"You have my permission to eat the entire wedding feast if you just, you know, get the heck out of my way and let me, er, hide in a rabbit hole?"

"Alas I-"

"OH MY GOD!" She screamed, pointing past the huge, rounded, belly of the plump warrior at something that made her eyes tear up with blood curdling fear.

"What is it? I do not see anything?" Volstagg was on the case, his body pivoting as he moved to draw his weapon and fight whatever foe presented itself.

"Volstagg?" Fandral's voice drifted from further along the gardens, having rushed down from his rooms to check on Kari traps.

"Yes my friend, I have your lost- Oh..." He turned only to find his captive girl missing and a greyed Fandral on his opposite side. "She has slipped through my grasps, friend. I am sorry for it, most dashing Fandral, but she is quite the slippery of snakes."

"Aye, but thank you all the same. Come let us see if, Hogun, fairs better than either you or I at catching prey."


	2. Chapter 2: Down by the river

What a bunch of silly old men, falling for such simple tricks as if they had not grown up around Loki and all his antics. Then again, Loki, did get away with an awful lot of mischief at all times and none seemed capable of catching on and stopping it once in a while. Well then, in that case, no wonder pointing at an imaginary monster and turning invisible had worked so well on a bunch of slow to learn asgardians. Poor granddad though, he was so not looking himself the last few days, no doubt getting lectures from Odin or something. Still, it could not be helped, she had places to go, people not to marry; especially that last one.

As wonderful and all that as Balder was, well, they were not what she would consider 'back together' back together. It was more like they were having amazing make-up sex before they had actually gotten around to the making up bit. Okay, that maybe needed to finally get addressed soon, like, tonight or tomorrow when he was less sulky about waiting all day for her at the church or wherever it was they expected her to get married. They could have some more make-up fun times, that seemed to cheer him up after he spent several awkward minutes scowling at her and listening in silence to her rambled apologies mixed with excuses and just a dash of bullshitting. What was with all these crazy people and not learning from Loki shaped mistakes as well as Kari catastrophes; it is as if they enjoy chaos and madness. Whatever, she had some stairs to descend, the final length of a castle to escape and not enough energy to keep up this whole invisible thing along with an internal debate on asgardian intelligence.

"Oh my god..." Kari popped back into reality with a hefty lean against a stairwell in order to catch her breath; whatever the magical equivalent of a workout was, she really needed to have one of those.

"Fandralkin?" Thor was peering down from the top of the steps, out of the palace, as if not quite sure if he were seeing a mirage or his friend's granddaughter where she was not supposed to be.

"Argh!" She hissed at the question mark left lingering after her sort of name and turned her face away from the gigantic blonde oath in the hopes he might confuse himself into believing she were someone else and he late for a wedding. "I know not who thouth means." Right well, the mock asgardian accent was so not the best of ideas but at least now the bimbo was howling with laughter and much too distracted to give chase.

Taking the steps two at a time, the curly haired woman, threw herself into a good cardiovascular pace and skidded off into the city proper – and away from a life as someone's ball and chain, well, someone else's, legal, ball and chain. Hopefully third times luck would be the charm and Odin would give up trying to force the issue; not that his reasoning made much of any sense. Marry Balder, become an official citizen, not be the all father's problem any more, all that junk. Well, she was simplifying what he had actually said but that was the general gist of it or at least what she could remember of it while rolling her eyes quite so viciously at the sordid affair. She was sure it was a joke at first, one nobody apparently found very funny and Balder – the bastard – had already agreed to the whole thing in private. What on earth was he even thinking? He did not love her, he more than said so with his lack of answer and yet he wanted to marry her? Or was it just more of his stupid obedience to his king or god or however they felt about one another. Whatever, she so did not need this.

Pausing on her jog through the city out side a particularly grubby looking pub, Kari, sighed woefully and shouldered the door open as she slunk inside gripping her nose. The place reeked, well, there was a pigsty in the middle of the room for whatever reason the owner had for such a thing – bacon maybe? The windows were grime smeared, as if someone tried to regularly wash them with dirty water but at least it gave the place a rather lovely gloomy atmosphere that hid the disrepair and unhygienic nature of the tables mostly from view. She guessed the place was usually livelier during the evening, shattered mugs picketed the floor everywhere her boots stepped, but at least the why was obvious.

"Honey mead please." Kari called over to a young boy, no older than eight or nine as he tended bar with so few people on the premises and his father snoring off whatever barrel he crawled out of from the night before.

"'wo gol's." The mini waiter was on the case, plopping an already filled mug on the woman's table besides a window she could not see out no matter how much she squinted.

"Yeah, I- hey!" Kari paused fishing around in her pocket for change at hearing something that suspiciously sounded like a two. "It was one yesterday and half a bit the day before."

"Tha's tha p'ice of's all's tha mug's." The boy flashed her a front toothless smile, the obvious cause of his strange whistling speech impediment.

"But I don't even break them!" Her brows knitted, following suit after her chin lifted lip pursing.

"E'ac'ly, tha's g'oss ma'ing me c'ean's them's."

"Um... yeah I guess but... two gold? Really?" For the second time that day, Kari, found herself trying the pity card and failing miserably when faced with a ragamuffin master. "Can't we, you know, er, haggle on this? That's pretty much all the money I have on me today." Well she was reaching the end of the twelve step program quickly if she were already at bargaining. "Oh come on, give me a break, I need to hide here all day again and I can't do that if I can only buy, um..." She began fishing through a handful of coins. "Two and a quarter drinks."

"Tha's tha p'ice. Ta'e i' oh lea'e I'."

"You're so mean..." She pouted at an unaffected child as he squirrelled away the reluctantly offered money and finished their transaction by sticking his tongue out her her. "Urgh, stupid... stupid."

As if things could not get worse, what with the stench, arranged marriage and precocious business child, someone had taken that moment to stand up from his own table at the back of the room and stride towards her as he they knew one another. Oh wait, they kind of did. Dropping the mug currently at her lips, Kari, got to her feet in quick time as she recognised that particularly vengeful, shoulder slouching silhouette approaching as one that belongs to a grumpy warrior of three. How the heck had Hogun discovered her hiding spot? Oh great, and now her drink had fallen and shattered all over the floor; what a waste but at least her blackmailer, or whatever, behind the counter was happy about it.

"I'm not going!" She tried shouting at her pursuer as he moved to corner her in the room only to discover she had already mapped out the back door and sat intentionally close by for just such an emergency event – also the little fresh air that crept under the threshold.

"Kari!" Hogun warned, his footfalls thudding behind her ear piercingly loud and horrendously catching up with his victim as she bumped and weaved around a morning market similar to a silver marble in a pinball machine.

This was so not good, Hogun was so not Fandral or Volstagg and most definitely not Thor. The dark haired warrior, though one of her grandfather's best friends and never giving her reason to fear, always managed to make the hairs on the back of her neck rise as if under a predators scrutiny. Something in his eyes just kind of screamed murder and more murder followed by a little more murder with his ale. The fact he was so ordinarily quiet only made hearing him bellow her name all the more frightening still. Oh she so had to get out of this ones wake, or was it he who needed to get out of hers? How did wakes work again? Wait, no, no time for thinking about silly wakes and being stupid.

Throwing herself around a corner, the curly haired woman, turned invisible but it was to little avail as apparently Hogun could very clearly hear her gasping for breath and just continued the pursuit into a pottery shop. Throwing herself into a, magically summoned, ice sheet across the ground slide under several tables had managed to catch him by surprise however, her momentum carrying her far enough to exit out the other side in good time and skitter to a standing whilst losing him over the fence of a goat pen. Okay, maybe the goat pen was not a good idea among so many bad ideas of the day.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Ohmygod!" Kari repeated like a terrified mantra as a collective of very large goats began running at her like she were a head butting target.

At least she was now somehow running faster than before, having discovered her life preserving energy surplus and a limited level up of speed. She need not turn around to know if the warrior was still on her tail, even over the thud of her heart beat rocketing away in her ears, telltale ambience of a man grunting his way through a fist fight with goats was quite audible. When the opposite side of the fence came into focus, she wasted no time throwing herself over the side, despite the mud attempting to grip her boots and hold her prisoner. All just in time too, as the curly haired woman awkwardly fell in a jumbled heap on the grass, rolling diagonally from the momentum, the view of a goat ramming the fence post made her cringe with the way the wood dented and splintered in the middle. She was so much weaker than that thick post, thank goodness for only bruising her head and hip and arm and well, other places that were much better off than snapped like a twig by a goat. Stupid goats, stupid Balder, stupid Odin, stupid little boys and stupid Hogun.

"Oh shit." Well that last thought certainly had her attention back again, especially as the man in question appeared about done swinging goats around the field to get back to his real task.

Tripping on first attempt, Kari, struggled back on two legs before scarpering off in the safest looking direction available; the woods. This was a new place, the fields were a lot more her scene what with the wicked way the woods glowered down on her like only green giants and distant snarling can. What choice did she have? Well, going back and getting married was a choice but not one she was willing to take just because the bushes were rustling to her left and something just made a snorting noise seemingly from everywhere at once.

"KARI!" Hogun's voice echoed out in all directions, startling his prey into scurrying deeper into unknown territory.

A high pitched burble of anticipation continuously squealed in a lodged part of her throat as she pushed through thick undergrowth and tripped on tree roots up a seemingly never ending hill. She could see why the men loved this place, it just screamed of gruesome storytelling time around a jug of mead and several dishes of honey roasted pork with pretty girls balanced on their knees. Whether the twigs snapping behind her were Hogun or a new beast to claim her hide really was not helping her anxiety. It was at that moment, Karian Motter, took the chance to stumble over a log and fall face first into a muddy puddle that stank of ammonia and urine.

"Oh, great. Yeah, because, yeah... I need this? Really?" She pushed herself up, attempting to shake off mud and piss all over her hands only splattering her body with it further and giving up with an incensed growl.

Wait, was that her growling? When had she managed to learn to growl quite that deep and ferociously; oh and long. Now back on her feet, Kari, spun around following the threatening rumble back to its true source and froze on the spot due to some residual prey instinct to stare wide eyed at danger and stop breathing just in case it is like the t-rex from the Jurassic park movie and can only sense movement; no such luck, sadly. The towering, horned, scaly beast with a face not even a mother could love could very much see her, smell her and wanted to complete its sensory analysis by eating her. If memory served her correctly, from mishearing and sadly hearing, many of her grandfather's and his friends tales of weird shit all over the nine realms, this particular creature was probably a bilgesnipe. If so, and god did she hope not, running away about now was probably a good idea before it...

Screaming at the top of her lungs, yet somehow having oxygen enough to sprint away in record breaking time, the curly haired woman, bolted off through the trees as the gigantic beast threw itself in her direction. Finding its first attack fruitless, in a splash of raining urine, it began the chase bowling vegetation and entire trees out of its way as it went. Things really should have stopped getting any worse by this point, she was really beginning to see the light and how marriage was possibly not as bad as all this with trees collapsing around her and a monster trying to use her as an after dinner mint but well, she was Karian Motter.

As her feet met air, her stomach seemingly floating in zero gravity for a split second, Kari stopped screaming long enough to inhale and gawk at the lack of anything below her. A note for another time; whilst running for your life always check you are not sprinting off the side of a sheer drop. Well, at least there was a river below but on second thought it was really cold being the kind of fresh water that came direct from melting snowy peaks.

As her body collided with the liquid surface, the change in temperate was quite a painful one, every muscle in her body instantly spasming and squeezing at the icy temperature against her warm body. The shock was the worse, followed by the need to breathe as her arms reignited and she attempted to force her way up to the surface to breathe against a magnificent current. Clothing wet and heavy, the speed and rapids dragging her left, right and horrifyingly down into the depths at times drained away what little energy she had left in mere minutes. Even the rocks were against her as her side collided for the fourth time with a pesky grey mound too smooth to find any real purchase around with wet hands. The air in her lungs was getting sparser with each attempted inhale, water slipping in and causing sporadic spluttering chocking panics with increasing frequency. Was this the end? Survive everything, survive Loki, Niffleheim, giant spiders, duels to the death, Odin, mind rape, Jotunheim, starvation, alien invasion, a two hundred foot fall, goats and a bilgesnipe all to die by a stupid river? And yet how tired she felt, so done with fighting the current bouncing her like un-living driftwood in its grasp. She could not even call for help as she managed one more dizzying breath over cold water that did not quite sate the hunger her cells required.

Eyes fluttering shut as her head fell beneath the surface, the pull on her body only grew stronger, tugging at her clothing as if trying to strip her down; what a perverted river. Her lips broke the surface yet again, her eager body forcing the issue as she sucked in as much as she could take and filled her lungs with just enough air to reboot simple functions. Something was dragging her, except not along with but instead through the river. Attempting to use her arms came with little response from her freezing and exhausted extremities, though she hardly needed to help her good Samaritan as he huffed and pulled her body up onto the river bank with a practiced ease before being joined by another's arms to secure her fully on land.

As her eyes fluttered left, she was treated to a rather spectacular spray of water from a shaking great grey hounds back, no doubt her saviour of the day, before the shadow above her caught her full attention in wide eyed wonder. Deep blue eyes, a mess of rusty brown hair on both head and chin in the beginning stages of a beard. She knew this man and yet felt so distant from the memory of him as if divided by time.

"You are beautiful." She smiled at the worried face above her now tilting in his curiosity at her statement before the moment was disrupted by a lack of conciousness on her part.


	3. Chapter 3: Old witch

Warmth, everywhere, consistent waves of heat attacking the right of her body as softness lay against her skin. Betraying lips parted, mouthing a familiar name though no sounds escaped her tired lungs. With conciousness rising, the back of her eyelids coming into focus, Kari groaned as she fought for the energy to open her eyes, knowing all to well the flickering reds she was seeing would be found to be too bright to stomach.

Her lips were dry, though not from thirst, congealed river gunk banished from the corners of her mouth by a tongue as she peered half lidded at the world around her. Above her was only green, thick and foreboding in its many canopies. Birds call rung high pitched and ever tweeting from places she could not make out. To her right a fire crackled and popped in wanton hunger; the source of the warmth heating her into an almost cooked sensation. The curly haired woman pushed herself onto elbows, hissing at the stiffness of her own body and trying to ignore all the wonderful bruises she had required only that morning. Asgard really was a very painful place to live.

As if not even noticing her presence, a young man sat on a fallen log, idling away his time by sharpening what appeared to her to be a big stick whilst a great grey hound dosed by his feet enjoying the fire. This was not the same man she had seen before passing out, or at least she did not think it was. Her secondary rescuer had been more cheerful looking for one and second a tad more on the ginger side. Whoever her silent camp fellow was he certainly was not unpleasant to look at by any rate; an inkling in the back of her mind casually comparing him to a young dirty blonde Brad Pitt but with a good dose of viking in him. Blinking in his hunched form a moment longer her attention finally wormed its way towards the elephant in the camp site as pupils dilated having discovered her body covered in nothing but furs; well, and her underwear, whomever had stripped her off had thought it kind enough to leave her in mismatching bra and knickers.

"Where are my clothes!" She demanded though in a higher pitch than she had wanted and clung the dead wolf pelt to her body with a disgusted reassurance. "ANSWER ME!" That time was better, louder but still lacking in the authority she was hoping to express.

"Drying over there." Brad Pitt junior rolled his eyes, whilst keeping his gaze firmly on admiring his pointy stick, with his opposite hand pointing out a spray of clothing airing out on a low hanging tree branch.

"Well, er, go and get them for me and... turn around then?"

"I am no old witches servant." The man stood, sheathed his knife and stalked away with his stick.

"What?" She stared after him not quite understanding the what or the why of the day.

Perhaps she had hit her head really hard during the river encounter, or maybe she drowned and this a bizarre limbo before a demon came to claim her or more than likely that guy was just super weird. Yes, right, definitely a weird creepy guy that removes girls clothing to wash and dry before getting bored and storming off in a hump with a stick. At least that was the only kind of wood in his hands when she had woken up at least. Okay, no time for all this worrying about stuff that has not bothered to happen yet, she really needed her clothes back and Creeper Pitt seemed to be long gone.

Struggling into a vertical position, between hissing and groaning at her weakened body, Kari stumble slunk like a handicapped guilty thief over to her drying clothes with wolf pelt held to her bare skin. The dog by the fire yawned, great bulbous brown eyes fluttering open as it kept watch on the stranger it had rescued mere hours ago from a fast flowing river; the attention of which did not go unnoticed as, Kari, cringed away from the voyeurism into a collection of hardly hiding anything bushes and began throwing on partially damp clothing with some skin sticking effort.

"Kari?" A new man's voice hovered questioningly in the air before reuniting with his rather tall and wide shouldered body right besides a collection of small bushes.

"I, er, um..." She froze much like rabbits and head lights, bare of short tunic and still struggling with the zip to her now punk rock torn jeans.

"Oh." The second river rescuer ravaged with his eyes for a split second, tone deepened in casual relief, before turning in a show of business to dump a partially filled sack by the fire. "Where is Dagur?"

"Dagur?" Kari chewed wildly on her lower lip, hopping on one foot as her zip finally closed and began hurrying her top on before anymore strange men had the chance to not admire what was on display; she would have been annoyed about the disinterest if the splattering of purple across her body did not make her also recoil.

"He was guarding you whilst you slept and I went to check the traps."

"Dagur?" Why was that name so annoyingly familiar; also why did her boots still stink of goat when everything else smelt like algae? "Garthar?"

"Yes?" Garthar peered up from his ministrations of dead rabbits in a sack, the calling woman throwing her head back in wide eyed surprise at the answering. "You did not recognise me? But at the river bank..."

"I, um..." Kari shook her head then began nodding as her brows danced between reflecting emotions before her mouth finalised the brains conclusion with a silent 'o' shape. "Oh my god." Somehow she had wandered closer, bypassing bushes and dropped her unworn shoes by the fire for further drying. "Garthar?"

"Yes?" He answered her again, eyebrows furrowing in a two step dance of their own at his old friend's disbelief when she so accurately appeared to his eyes as she always had. "I do not deceive."

"Yeah but, you're..." She reached forward, all the better to feel his face as he stared her down from his log perch as if sure they were playing some game of dares. "You have a beard."

"As any man should." His answer was blunt and too the point of the matter.

"Oh. My. God." She finished by attempting to eat her own cheeks; nobody could be quite that softly spoken, maroon haired and maintain eye contact unashamedly without being a boy named Garthar.

"Come, sit, I will prepare rabbits for us." He lifted her hands from his face, gently, and guided her to sit on furs where she had once laid asleep.

"You cook?" Her stomach needed to take credit for the longing sigh in her voice; last nights dinner had been a very long time ago.

"The fire does the cooking."

"No, don't, let me enjoy this, er, moment of a man cooking me..." Kari paused to stare up at the little light filtering through the leaves above them and threw a wild guess into the air. "Lunch? After rescuing me from a river."

"Motter-" Garthar speedily adjusted his words as he pointed out the panting dog to his left. "The dog pulled you out I just-"

"Is this Dagur's dog?" Kari scowled the mutt down from across the fire, receiving no canine attention what with the hound in question choosing to prefer staring at the man with his lap full of pre-skinned bunnies. "What's his problem? He called me an old witch a minute ago and he named his dog after me? Whatever, I am so..." She looked away, head shaking much like an angry twitch as her arms folded in lip pouting aggravation."I never did nothing to him!"

"You did call him 'fat'-"

"Oh so I was supposed to just let him get away with calling me names and saying nothing back?"

"You gave him a black eye more than once, Kari." Garthar, ever the voice of reason, commented as his hands got busy with squelchy activities and skewering fur less rabbits on sticks. "And humiliated him on many occasions with your sorcery tricks in front of everyone."

"Only when I was escaping him!" Sour faced, she glared across at a whining dog being coaxed away from meat roasting on a fire only to continue her sulk across the space of the camp site at a tree with deeply scarred bark. "And when he was being mean..."

"You and Dagur remember things very differently back then."

"Oh and what do you remember?" Well that had her attention and along with it a new intent of boring a hole in the side of Garthar's skull with her glower.

"Being forced to stand between my two friends before things escalated." He shrugged, nonplussed by her violent intensity and further disarming her with a brief smile.

"Garthar..." A hand drifted up, attempting to run through her hair but instead forced to unknot her recently dried frisky brown curls; he was good, way too good with those deep blue eyes and that reassuring lady killer smile. "You're making me feel guilty."

"The guilt you feel is your own, I would not force any upon you, friend."

"Oh god, you've grown up and become my grandfather."

"Fandral the dashing?" Garthar was the one caught off guard this time, the last of his floppy eared jobs dangling gruesomely between fingers as he held his hunting knife ready in the opposite hand. "Truly?"

"Morally, sure." She shrugged at his sudden interest, the smell of grilling meat between them making her innards feel uncomfortably tight and desirous. "Well, maybe not, um, I mean, I don't know about, his other, erm, activities and..." Well this was getting awkward, what with her mind now filtered onto to her second-childhood friend's possible love life. "So! What are you doing here? In the woods?"

"Hunting." There was that smile again, and a distant dreamy expression before his senses came back from swordsman comparisons and onto the subject of explaining himself. "Dagur and I hunt here. My father needs the leather for his work and Dagur's family use the meats for their shop."

"Oh so you're working?" Kari suddenly cringed at just how patronising she sounded, her lips coming under enamel abuse as her brain rebooted and her mouth tried to talk her way out of whatever mess they were in now. "I spend so much time with palace people I didn't think anybody did anything other than cook, clean, stand around, rescue dragons or courtesan stuff around the, you know what I mean."

"Courtesan?" He seemed genuinely preoccupied by her line of progression.

"No, nooo, I'm not a courtesan. God no!" Her mind filled in the blanks, even if she was using too many letters for the spaces; what kind of girl did he take her for? "At least I don't think I am? Sometimes it's really hard to tell what's just going on in that place."

"I..." Garthar was now mentally stumbling along behind her trying to decipher her communication as if reading ancient greek for the first time. "Are you- Have you-" For some reason, subconsciously, both of his hands had lifted in front of him as if cupping invisible breasts.

"Nooo?" For a moment even she was no longer sure what exactly they were talking about; lesbianism was not one of her usual trends. "Kinda maybe?" Or maybe he meant to ask if she let men touch her bosom on lonely nights. "Not like that but, okay see... Odin says I have to marry Balder, I'm supposed to be at my wedding right now but I ran away... again."

"The all father? Balder the brave?"

"Yes." The look shared between them was not one that was any longer working in even the vaguest area of her favour. "I didn't hit my head. Okay, I did a few times but I didn't, er, hit my head and make this up. Sometimes I wish my life was a concussion." Her longing sigh was merely met with a brown eyed head tilt and a blue eyed expression of neutral consideration. "Look I was running away into the woods for a reason. I was trying to hide out at that creepy looking pub with the pigsty in the middle of the floor, the one near the bookshop, scroll place." She nodded along with her companions confirmation of comprehension. "So I'm in there hiding out trying to order a drink from this little kid that charged me two gold for a mug of mead." A deep rumble of disapproval greeted her ears in sympathetic pain at such a steep price. "Right." She nodded in agreement with the young man, accepting a cooked rabbit on a stick as her host began dishing out between the three of them around the fire. "I'd already escaped my grandfather, Volstagg and Thor earlier to get there when Hogun gets up, hiding in the back somewhere, and I had to run out of there and drop my drink... it was really tragic. But then there were these goats, really angry goats, but luckily more of them were mad at Hogun than me and I out ran mine but he was all caught up with his goats and I managed to jump the fence and make it into the woods. But then, what I think was a Bilgesnipe, tried to kill me and the river was a thing that happened instead." Kari finally stilled her tongue long enough to bite into her camp fire lunch and taste her old friend's chef skills. "My god this is really good!"

"Thank the fire for us." He was busy flashing that smile again, patting the dog's back as the four legged Motter crunched on bone and all besides him with the wag of her tail.

"Garthar?" Seriously, he needed to quit with those deep blue eyes unless he wanted to see her swoon and choke on a mouthful of roasted rabbit. "Hey I... Just so you know..." Swallowing before trying to continue was so a good idea right about now. "I popped through time." Or maybe eating and not talking was a good idea if the dubious frown he just shot her was anything to go by. "And landed in Niffleheim. The last time I saw you was six months ago from my memory. I got back to Asgard, or should I say dragged back, maybe four months ago and you know, well, er, everyone else had experienced years and nobody was at the fields anymore so I figured... I mean to say-"

"That I would not know you?" Garthar nodded his understanding, he was never one to disbelieve friends without cause and, Karian Motter, had always been a source of the bizarre.

"Something like that or whatever, kids grow up and stuff." She showed him a toothy smile of her own, relief spreading through her fatigued body like a soothing balm. "Well you grew up. I guess we can't play Jotuns against Asgardians anymore."

"We could spar sword on sword?"

"Erm, not right now? I think losing to a river was enough for me today. Another time?"

"Of course." He joined her in a friendly chuckle.

"If you're into that, you should come and practice with granddad and me. He normally drags me out of bed a couple of times a week and I could really do with an ally against him."

"Your- Fandral would allow this?" Shocked, excited, about ready to stand up and drop to one knee all accurately summed about the rise of the young man's tone.

"Sure? Why wouldn't he? He loves showing off, especially if there's girls watching."

Why did he suddenly seem like a puppy having seen a tennis ball for the first time? Whatever, she needed to finish off her lunch before the dog gave up staring at her with those steadily growing in size brown eyes and instead realised she was bigger and could just take it from the curly haired mostly human woman.

After another hour or so of catching up on old times and new times and all the time in between, Dagur finally reappeared with quite an aura of brooding malcontent. He had an entire deer wrapped around his shoulders as if the beast were a gigantic scarf and paid no mind where he dumped the dead creature; especially when its head landed conveniently in his least favourite childhood frenemies lap. Garthar made some remark but did not push his hunting companion any further about the dramatic incident of scorn, not when the dirty blonde was already stropping away from the scene of the crime to take care of other pending tasks. At least he said something though, Garthar, had always been great at sticking up for her when they were children unlike the majority of asgardian men; a niggling sensation in the back of her skull presented the possibility of seeming inferior and in need of the naturally alpha male's protection. Whatever, allies were allies and one of those in a sea of enemies and indifferent peoples was like discovering what weapon was used in a game of cluedo – only two more clues to figure out the murder mystery.

Deer taken care of, Garthar, had returned to the camp fire after leaving the curly haired damsel in previous distress to enjoy a second rabbit kebab shared between herself and a great grey hound now using her thigh as a pillow. Apparently some further discussion had occurred and the hunting pair having decided enough stock was acquired and a return home was in order to unload goods and return an unarmed Bilgesnipe magnet back to her palace - that last part had probably been Dagur's internal musings. At least the previously fat but now grown, lean and well groomed, dirty blonde had nothing to say to her the rest of the afternoon as he nonchalantly ignored her presence even when she was handing him things to pack into the cart they had brought with them. When Garthar had magically appeared from some camouflaged paddock with two brown horses for the wagon, however, Kari very almost bolted home herself; her squeaking fear managing to bring a laugh to Dagur's otherwise moody visage.

All in all, by the time they finally loaded up everything for taking, secured the camp site for the next use and finally set off down a bumpy dirt road towards the city and out of the woods it was already evening time. At least laying in the back of a wagon on piles of deer hide and furs was comfy and a great deal less tiring than actually walking. The rocking, however, irritated her nicely healing bruises and the piles of cured meat to her left was rather gory; and yet she still had to wonder at the taste. The wedding was no doubt over by now, again, they normally did not wait around all day for her to show up or be captured before dispersion happened and she could sneak back to her room. Lucky number three, it had to be otherwise Odin was repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome; she was pretty sure that was the definition of insanity too which really fit the crazy old man better than his helmet.

"Kari?"

"Huh?" She peered up from her napping spot at the looming figure topped with maroon hair staring down at her now the wagon had come to a halt and he trying to unload it.

"We are here." He clarified for her half-asleep expression, helping her down from the back and onto city streets.

"Oh."

"Do you mind waiting while we deliver the goods, then I will take you home."

"No, you don't have to bother with that." Kari patted the moulted fur uselessly from her clothes as Garthar was already set about his task of unloading goods whilst Dagur tended to the horses, unhitching them and walking into a much smaller stables than the ones at the palace. "You're busy enough with all this, I can just, get back to er, I can walk."

"If you are sure."

"She said she's fine, leave the witch to it." Dagur commented darkly having returned from the thatched roofed stable to help with carrying heavy items.

"I will call on you after evening meal." Garthar ignored his friend's communication as if a passing breeze.

"Oh will you now?" Really she should not have added quite that much flirt into that sentence but with Dagur as an audience to the exchange she found she could not help herself with trying to annoy him back.

"You are injured, I would not want you-"

"I get it, sure, come on over, you're always welcome."

Well, leave it on a friendly note like that, it was not as if continuing a childhood friendship was anything more than what was on either of their minds. Besides, she had a kind of thing with Balder to deal with and leading anyone else on and into her already weird love life was so not worth the aggravation or loss of an ally. Still, upon turning the corner from what she assumed to be Garthar's house, hearing Dagur putting on a high pitched voice had made her halt her next steps for a game of eaves dropping.

"'You're always welcome'." Dagur crooned in what sounded suspiciously like a mock Karian Motter voice. "Trying to let her eat your heart again, Garthar?"

"Be quiet." The level of muted authority in his tone was enough to silence his companion and cause his female friend to scarper away as if caught with her hand in someone else's cookie jar.

Stupid Dagur, stupid unintentional flirting, stupid never ending and unwanted wedding. Well at least she was away from one of those and another was over for today. It was starting to get dark out, dinner time would be starting up at the palace about now and her insides were so ready to get filled to the brim with the nearest platter of food and jug of mead. Rabbit was all well and good but she could not live on nothing but the floppy eared things; still Garthar did cook them really good, crispy on the outside but still juicy on the inside.

Getting lost for a moment, in a chaotic section of the city, filled with the beginning of drunken asgardian men starting up several wrestling matches in the middle of the streets, Kari, finally got her bearings back and on track towards the palace. The way in was pretty uneventful, everybody was in the dinning hall if all the laughter and shouting coming from that general direction was anything to go by, and the corridors were empty besides the odd guard loitering like a statue and minding his post. She totally would have thought she had gotten away with today, yet again, if it had not have been for the sudden clatter of metal on metal behind her upon reaching Fandral's rooms.

Spinning around at the sound, having found the doors strangely locked and throwing her back against it, the curly haired woman stared at a selection of armed golden guards blocking the corridor she had just come down with their starves. Upon turning her head towards the opposite side of the corridor a selection of new guards made their appearance around the next corners blocking her third favourite choice of escape. Oh this was bad, maybe Odin was about to have her dragged to the throne room like old times and get shouty about dwarf mines; the nostalgia would be interesting if lacking in scary nowadays – when you've already survived Niffleheim and Loki, Odin's rage seems like enduring a bad rom-com on a fruitless date.

"Do not be alarmed, my dear."

"Granddad?" Kari shifted her face into a side ways stare as the Robin Hood reject parting through the mob of guards to reach her. "What's going on here?"

"These fine warriors are here to help you on your way to matrimony." Fandral placated, hands raised in the universal sign of a hostage negotiator trying to find common ground with a madman.

"What? No. That was hours ago."

"And everybody is still waiting."

"Why?" She scowled, elongating the question mark in her query to really add emphasis to how ridiculous this entire scenario sounded.

"Because the all father ordered the guests to stay until your arrival."

"I'm not going."

"I believe the kings guards would beg to differ, my dear." Fandral sighed, knowing all too well a scene of cursing kicking fury was about to ensue.


	4. Chapter 4: Gonna get married

Not wanting to let anybody down, jointly she had a reputation to hold up, Karian Motter, spent the next few minutes in a flailing tangle whilst two guards held her a foot above ground by her armpits. Kicking the armoured men did little to affect any change but at least it was making her feel better, as she repeatedly called them names ranging in severity, whilst nobody paid her any mind. Well, nobody but her grandfather as he followed behind the procession of kings men hooding his eyes with one hand and hugging his torso with the other thoroughly embarrassed by the unladylike nature of his daughter's offspring.

As they continued into the dinning hall, a great cheer rang out among the many guests and staff at the arrival of the bride at long last; not that they had not been enjoying themselves all immensely on the three day old wedding food and alcohol on offer. It was then that music started playing and, an intensely pissed off mess of a woman, was dropped back to ground level by her unwelcome escorts. She spun on the spot, in a bid for freedom, once more but was swiftly caught in an awkward limb hug by a gigantic moustache attempting to hypnotise her with its upturned flicking.

"Let us not make this scene any more mortifying than it has to be, my dear." Fandral whispered urgently in his granddaughter's ear, arms clasping her so tight she was sure he would suffocate her if she tried attacking the guards in fruitless hand to spear combat.

"Urgh..." She groaned in response, letting the horrendous sound of several dozen drunk men and women singing some sickly love song accompaniment with harps and a drowning cat instrument complete another verse, before she relented with muscle easement.

"The sooner this is over-"

"The sooner you get rid of me."

"Kari, that is not-"

"Whatever, Fandral." That last part, calling him by his name, had stung; she could tell by the way his moustache was tickling her cheek during its descent.

"Come, your husband awaits." Fandral commented, a slight shake in his voice before he caught the matter, releasing her to free his hand for a polite cough.

With a great hefting inhale, the curly haired woman slowly turned to face the music in wide eyed terror. It was not just even the commitment, the wedding its self was like a really bad clown dream but with vikings. Oh, and she was having to get married in front of all of Balder's friends wearing torn jeans, an algae smelling short tunic with goat stench boots and some serious wolf fur infused bed head; at least the wedding night would be extra worse when Balder discovered her mismatching underwear and healing bruises. She so did not need this right now, today had already been intensely horrid enough to her. Her intended had not even made any real effort, the same old purple and silver armour on, watching her with the intensity of a blue eyed hawk from the opposite end of the hall next to the all father; though, it was possible his lack of fitting attire was due to his belief she would wiggle her way out of the wedding once more so he did not have to.

Slamming her hands into the pockets of her jeans, Kari, glared Odin down as she placed one foot in front of the other in a walk of sheer defiance in the face of change and other horrible things. Not even the crooning slur of song on either side of her was deterring her vengeful thoughts as she traversed the valley of death. If Balder was expecting her to be a good housewife after this he had another thing coming and she sure as hell was not going to be popping out little warriors any time soon either; besides the lack of want, in honesty, the downstairs red works still had not re-situated after the whole amenorrhoea thing, really she should have had that checked out by now but it was probably the only good thing going for her in her life currently.

"I don't suppose saying 'no' some more will stop this stupid wedding?" She queried as her hunched form finally made its way to the font of the wedding party besides a giant purple hawk and a one eyed madman.

"You look a mess." Frigga had appeared seemingly out of nowhere from a crowd of very tall warriors and began fussing with her hair to get it under some control with a ribbon. "That will have to do." The queen hummed to herself having managed to somehow tame the other woman's wild brown curls into a pretty decent ribbon laced plait.

"Throw this over her." A second woman was attacking the bride now but this time with a heavily embroidered red cloak. "It will hide the rags."

"Not you too, Prue." Kari sighed as possibly her only female friend was giving her a disapproving glare; though that was nothing new.

"We have done what we can." Frigga concluded the last minute make-over session and parted ways with her one time, red headed, accomplice to let the king begin his wedding introductions as the music came to an end.

This was so lame, not to mention boring and the smell of three day old wedding food was really starting to make her stomach do excited back flips in an uncomfortable fashion. Maybe she could sneak over to one of the tables whilst ole one eye was rumbling on about something to do with honour, fidelity and other things that did not seem to relate to her. Balder seemed really into it, unblinking stare fixed on the all father as he stood bolt up right at attention. At least she had a sweet new red cloak for her troubles but then again Prue would probably want it back later. Speaking of the red haired ball of ex-asgardian serving wench, there was an awful lot of strange hand gestures coming from her standing off to the side with her husband, Egill. Kari raised an eyebrow at the show, mouthing the word 'what' as if this might help to clarify what Prue wanted.

"-as is the duty of a wife." Odin was still talking, despite her wish he would just have a heart attack all ready.

"I wasn't listening to any of that but you can be sure I'm not going to be a dutiful anything." Kari folded her arms and turned her body away from her impending husband in a show of further rebellion. "Can we skip to the 'do you take this man' part so I can say no already?" Why did everything suddenly get eerily quiet for a moment then, maybe they were waiting for the magic word. "Please?"

"In the name of the realm eternal." Odin was at it again. "I pronounce thee-"

"Wait what? Oh my god!" Kari was suddenly surprised back to reality; when had she missed the exchange of agreement part and all the vow stuff like in the movies? "This, er, this isn't right, there's supposed to be a vow bit and whatever."

"I pronounce thee-" Odin began again, fixing the squirming midgardian to the spot with a flash of danger in his remaining eye.

"HALT!"

"Yes, that!" Kari was suddenly startled back into life from her frozen statue game as a a new voice from the back of the room boomed all around her from the acoustics of the hall.

"Who are you?" The all father was really rather cross now, delinquents popping out of the wood work all over asgard and unsettling all his lovely plans; oh for some peace and quiet or a bloody good war with some giants.

"Garthar?"

"My king." Garthar was running the length of parted guests, all now muttering among themselves in confused and intrigued manners, until he reached the bride and groom and dropped to one knee for his king. "Forgive my late arrival but I must speak against this wedding."

"It is too late for such." Odin hissed, waving his staff as if to signify the newcomer to shoo and never return.

"You have pronounced them as husband and wife?" Garthar was unperturbed nonetheless, rising to his feet to persist in the matter until truth and circumstance was found.

"No!" Kari clarified a little too excitedly if Balder's switching stare was anything to go by. "What are you doing?"

"What reasons have you for this interruption?" The king interrupted the bride's line of questioning.

"This woman is promised to me."

"Explain."

"Almost ten years to this day I entered into a vow with my lady to-"

"Be really really good friends?" Kari concluded for possibly her best friend in all of asgard as she came to some realisation as to the 'what' of the going ons.

"A childhood promise of betrothal." Garthar agreed with a nostalgic smile and a returned nod from the woman in question.

"Children make many such promises, they mean little." With a great snuff against explanation, Odin, waved off the boy in front of him declaring some love pact from the not so distant past folly as if the only cards that mattered were in his own hand. "Besides, this woman is now promised to the warrior Balder the brave and noble. I demand you give up any such foolish claims."

"Only my lady may give me up for I am true to my word, my king."

"Fandralkin, does he speak truth in this?"

"Er... yeah? Kind of." Kari shunned away from the rather sudden intake of oxygen in the room followed by an increase in volume to all the guests gossiping; no doubt most of the negative comments would be directed at her being a slut or whatever. "Um, yes." She swallowed to give her voice a little more room to act out her words with further conviction but apparently ole one eye had heard enough to turn his stern gaze away from her and to someone new.

"Very well. Balder, what say you?"

"I concede my claim if such is true." Balder's tone was level and low as he captured her with his consuming eyes, holding her on the spot a fraction longer as some coded message passed between them that she was unable or unwilling to decipher right there and then.

Being the survivor type, though she would prefer going back to the lazy party girl type, Kari's brain had no time to sit around and think about the finer points of weddings and the hidden layers of Balder; certainly not when Garthar was standing mere feet away holding his hand out to her like a gallant knight rescuing her from a wicked king. Her feet were on the move, an acquiescent hand joining her friend's and her lips miming out a silent 'thank you'. As the pair strode from the dinning hall, heads held high because Garthar never did anything he did not fully take pride in, the crowd around them erupted into a chorus of equally loud stunned silence and mixture uproar of disapproval and outrage at the situation; somewhere in the middle of all that, Kari, was sure she clearly heard Prue calling her an idiot too. If all the anger and noise was not scary enough, far worse in fact than when she walked the line alone, by the time the escaping pair reached the doors, guards moved in a sudden sweeping motion to block them with weapons.

Kari yelped at the aggressive movement, moving in closer and wrapping both her arms around Garthar's left as if he were the only thing standing between herself and a gruesome death. As if the blockade merely an annoyance, he stared the guards down refusing to relent an inch despite the whole being outnumbered and having a burden pulling on his side. The room around them suddenly grew silent as if everyone had disappeared, yet she knew this not to be true because it was still warm from all the body heat around them. Garthar inhaled through his nostrils, turning his attention away from the guards and in a full circle back to the king at the opposite end of the hall, watching them as if there had been more to say.

"As guests and a wedding feast is arranged, you shall both be wedded here today."

"My king, I am honoured by your generosity but I must decline. I am not of age and still under my fathers guidance." Garthar's fearless, quick witted and yet somehow still polite turn down was enough to practically deflate his lady friend with relief; everybody needed to quit trying to marry and marry off Kari shaped creatures.

"An exception will be made in this case. I am sure your father would not disagree with his king in this matter." Odin's smug expression was almost enough to drive her mad.

"Oh, you stubborn old man, why can't you just leave everything alone for one stupid night!" Kari's voice found a whole new level of 'loud' as she bellowed across the hall at the incensed king, having found enough stupidity, sometimes known as courage, to let go and step out passed her rescuer in order to throw out an accusing finger with some style and a swish of her borrowed cloak.

"Petulant child." The all father ground out in bitter bass; Balder having to step out of the approaching king's way or get caught up in the fury aura.

"Yes I am! I am a child!" She shouted back, trying to take several more steps towards the approaching king but held to an invisible line by a rusty haired man friend's clasp on her elbow; Garthar remembering this particular confrontational Karian Motter from various child height arguments between herself and Dagur in the past. "I'm a mere fraction of a digit in comparison to yours and Balder's and mostly everyone here's ages! You're trying to marry children off! Doesn't that strike you as fucked up behaviour? What the heck is wrong with you people?"

"Silence!" Odin and grown still around the midway point between himself and his intended victim; whether shamed into pause or bullied there and not wanting to deal with her any longer was a question best left to the gods. "That is enough, leave my sight so we may at least salvage yet another evening your disorder has ruined for us all."

Before another venomous word could exit her revving up mouth, Garthar, took control of the situation by throwing her over his shoulder and speed walking out of peril whilst the curly haired ball of danger to herself was too surprised at the occurrence to put up any particular objection. By the time she realised what was happening, they were already half way down the corridor and without wanting to appear as if a kidnapper, he put her swiftly down receiving a light swat against his arm for his troubles. Despite the less than enthusiastic second part to his rescue, Garthar, continued to chuckle at the situation before quieted by an escaping bride's arms wrapping around him; this really was the kind of adventure you had to try once in your life.

"You're the bravest man I know." She gripped him tighter in a sighing squeeze as he mimicked the gesture momentarily.

"I told you I would not see you come to harm." Garthar frowned jointly at the seriousness of the situation they had both just escaped for the sake of promises and the chaste kiss the woman had placed on his unsuspecting cheek. "I should be returning to my home, my father has need of me before we may retire for the night."

"Yeah, sure, um?" Kari cleared her throat as they parted such intimate contact, her lower lip getting a good seeing too by her front teeth; it really was quite different when boys grew up and grew beards. "Day after tomorrow, make sure you come and, er, swing a sword with me and my granddad right?"

"I shall." He nodded his acceptance of the invitation, his still youthful smile breaking away the plateaus of seriousness from his countenance."Rest well, my lady."

"Hah, you too."

Waving off her rescuer, Kari turned briefly to peer back into the dinning hall now scattered with people in every previously empty space. The music had started up again, a crowd of maiden's having taken the chance to dance and flirt with the drunken warriors confused enough by the evening to accept any distraction that presented itself. Balder stood out like a sore thumb, possibly only to her, with his stiff form and piercing blue eyes trained on her. What he thought about the turn of events, about Garthar, was certainly not a guess she was willing to make. Worse still, what were her thoughts on the matter? Whatever, she could figure it out after a good meal and a lay down; giving all the hoo-hah a chance to die down would work in her favour, right?


	5. Chapter 5: Exit

Having slid in unsuspecting to the palace kitchens and liberated a plate of pork pie, lamb and something that suspiciously reeked of cabbage she discovered unguarded on a side table - probably some well to do, to lazy to come to the wedding feast, higher ups dinner delivery – Kari stalked the corridors. Going back to her room straight away did not seem like the best of plans, not with the two possible outcomes being the door still locked or her grandfather wanting to have a 'talk'. As much as she enjoyed getting admonished for things that were hardly her fault or problem, keeping well out of it and stuffing her face with pie was a chore that really needed catching up on and what a hard worker she could be. Nope, finding a nice spot to have a sit down was agenda number two and she knew just the right kind of place to hide out where nobody would hassle her.

The dungeon, cold, dimly lit, a bit on the damp side but that was what medieval prison systems were supposed to be like; that and mildly futuristic with force field cell walls. She could not help but feel as if she were almost wandering into an episode of that star trek show except there was no bald headed Shakespearian actor captain; but hey, plenty of tall guys with beards. Trying to imagine what the various prisoners had done to get locked away in empty cells would have been fun if her mind did not automatically peg all asgardian crimes down to 'annoying Odin'. Ole one eye seriously needed to start taking chill pills or get a hobby like knitting or whatever old men liked doing to pass the time and not meddle in young ladies love lives.

"It is late, Motter."

"Yeah, I know. I just needed some place to, er, hide out for a while and you're not gonna tell on me." She shrugged at the tone her new companion was taking with her, as she sauntered in his general direction, having just eluded a couple of guards doing their rounds. "How you been, Loki?"

"I could call the guards to have you removed." Green eyes peered over a book to scrutinise her as the trickster relaxed across the length of his bed, upper body supported by better pillows than she had in her own room.

"Mhm." Kari rolled her eyes at all the passive aggression practically oozing off the walls as she took the chance to slowly wince herself down into a sitting position on the stone floor. "Oh god, I've so needed a sit down." All those torso bruises were really starting to burn but then again she had been doing an awful lot of activity just lately; thank goodness for lamb cuts, they surely solved all problems in the world and many others. "I almost died today."

"You have my condolences." Loki sighed his response as another page of his book was turned; no doubt she had come to whinge and whine about trivial things whilst he a literal captive audience and unable to escape. "Yet another of your endeavours failed to accomplish."

"So when you going to escape already?" Well that had his attention long enough to lower literature to his lap and scowl at a woman with grease all around her mouth eating like a wild Thor. "It's been months. Just make a portal and pop out of there or something."

"You know very well I have no magic that may reach outside of my confinement." The level of grimace in his voice really could not go unnoticed and yet she was far to busy eating to care about his dull disdain. "Otherwise you may have completed your days endeavour long ago."

"Aw, that's sweet of you to say." Kari smiled as she wiped her hands on her old jeans, at least giving it a good shot at not getting Prue's lovely borrowed red cloak covered in food stains. "Sorry I don't come visit more often."

"If you visited less I would not be filled with any sorrow."

"Your dad's been trying to marry me off to Balder for the last three days."

"He is not my father." Loki growled, curving his neck to stare up at the ceiling before the rest of her words found purchase and cajoled his head to swerve back to the curly haired woman poking at fermented cabbage on her plate. "Trying?"

"Yeah, as in, um, no way in hell I'd let that happen, trying." She gave up solemnly on the green stuff on her plate, her finger poking tests had concluded it to be nuclear and not safe for consumption but at least there was a few morsels of pie left. "Don't know what's got into him... again. Was he always this crazy?"

"More so after your arrival. I would ponder as to the why if I did not all ready have previous knowledge of you, Motter."

"I'd be crazy too if you were my son."

"He is not my father!"

"Oh please."

"You are with that noble bore once more." Loki's swift change of subject got the desired affect, turning her attention away from dual finger sucking and tormenting him about his adoption. "I had thought you learned your lesson with his kind the first time around but as always-"

"Bitch, bitch, bitch." She lifted an arm in a hand-puppet gesture along with her response to his disapproval. "I thought we were all over that 'I'm in love with you, Kari, be my queen' stuff."

"I have never been in love-"

"That's sad."

"-with you-"

"And Odin isn't your daddy either."

"How astute." Green eyes would have turned black to join in with the low tones of his voice if he were capable. "You can surprisingly come to the correct conclusions at times." He felt the sudden need to bury his face back in his book as she stripped off her cloak, to leave in a folded pile, then lifted the bottom of her short tunic to wipe her face clean exposing the lower half of her torso. "It would greatly improve your circumstances if you did marry. Even that man. The status would protect you, even from the king to some degree but you never were good at realising what is good for you, Karian Motter."

"Oh I know what's good for me I just don't like everybody bullying me into it." As if a second thought, she reached up to her hair and began untangling the plait and threaded ribbon in some sort of symbolic gesture. "God, this really is like being stuck in Beauty and the Beast. Gaston forcing me into marry him, Beast," she crooked an elbow in the mischief makers general direction, "telling me to go follow my heart or something."

"And will we have a fairy tale ending?"

"I'm still waiting for the talking teapot."

"Is that all it takes to convince you of anything?"

"Um, not really." Kari chuckled at the humour of their conversation, even if the disgraced prince seemed more involved with his book than anything else. "We're friends right? Forgetting about New York and whatever, I mean."

"I admit to finding the concept both titillating and confounding."

"Um, good?" He really was not giving anything away, apart from what she was sure was a mocking eyebrow rise at her question. "So now we're friends can you show me how to do that portal stuff?"

"You all ready know I have no magic-"

"That can reach outside your cell. Yes, yes, but that doesn't mean you can't show me what to do from in there."

"Go to the library and read the book again and again until it comes to you."

"You're such a dick." She 'tsk'ed at his response, arms folding with an eye roll as she came to the understanding that he was smiling and intentionally winding her up as usual.

"And you a strange creature that can somehow muster up the skill and energy for complicated spells and yet fail at the simplest."

"Argh, you know the time travel was an accident. Seriously, do you want me to turn your clothes into wax?"

"I doubt even your inability could manage to traverse this force field between us." Loki sighed woefully as if half wishing she would go through with it and half realising he would then have to put up with her further if she did.

"Then, uh, I'll turn it to wax and then your clothes." Kari was not one to let a good bit of threatening die quite such a sorry death.

"Should you be stressing any further your kings disfavour of yourself with acts of vandalism and releasing prisoners?" He snapped his book shut, standing from the bed in one swift motion in order to move across the cell and deposit it on a small table. "I somehow doubt your abilities against an entire garrison of asgardian guards also."

"Whatever." She had so won that round and he was just making up excuses now. "That crazy old man has the bit between his teeth about something all the time anyway."

"Fascinating. No, not really." He answered her before she had the chance to part her lips and spew nonsense further, his back to her as he began to undress. "Leave me, I wish to sleep."

"Yeah, sure. Goodnight, Loki." She so did not need telling twice, even if she had seen it all before. "Sweet dreams."

Snorting at the trickster's mutterings of disgust at her well wishes, Kari, groaned her way back onto her feet and grabbed up the folded cloak and adorned ribbon much like an old woman. The plate could find its own way home, some guard would trip over it, flick mushy cabbage everywhere and tidy it up in a fit of guilt, probably; or the rats could have fun. She was beginning to feel pretty tired, despite having napped half the day away, so it had to be pretty late by now. Fandral should have made his way home and unlocked some doors in order to let a string of pretty lady shaped creatures entry to his abode for the night. Still, her mind though sleepy had other quarry it felt the need to pursue.

Having casually meandered out of the dungeon, up some horrendous steps and back into the palace proper, the curly haired woman found herself greeted by a sporadic splutter of giggling bed time goers; many of which not going to their own. At least the wedding feast had been a hit but of course that dredged up different lines of thought. What was she going to say to Balder? Was it over? Was it really a thing to begin with? Well they had been about to get married but it was not one of those choice reason things so back to the previous question; were they a thing? Did she want them to be a thing? Well, he kind of did not see them as a thing, again, despite the whole getting married thing he did not love her or so he did not say. This was way too confusing, maybe they should not be a thing and yet here she was standing outside his door knocking out a haunting rhythm of three before she could stop herself.

Air around her stilled, like a vacuum whose boundary her lungs could not force carbon dioxide into and so remained hitched in her throat. What had she just done, well maybe he was not in. Then again this was, Karian Motter, and luck always had a sense of humour with her. A clink of a cup being placed on a table, the creak of wood as weight was removed and foot falls slow and meticulous as a ticking clock. As the door was opened, she lifted the cloak in her hands to her chest to cuddle closer in comfort, upper lip locked between her teeth with an iron clad grip. Blue eyes delved downwards from a normal asgardian height to the smaller midgardian body in his doorway as he watched her squirm uncomfortably in his shadow.

"Hey." Her voice felt as small as it had sounded and yet he seemingly flinched back as if she were screaming only to allow her entry into his home. "So..." It seemed like the place to start, wherever 'so' was, as he took his time closing the door behind them before returning to his seat and drink. "It's been a really crazy day, huh? I mean, I got chased by some goats and a bilgesnipe and almost drowned an-"

"I am in no mood for your tales." Balder sounded neutral but the way he kept his eye contact clearly on his drink said otherwise.

"Yeah, I guess not. I mean, I can see why maybe, uh, stuff and whatever. So..." Hopefully 'so' had relocated to some place Balder preferred for their not happening honeymoon. "Are you mad at me?"

"You spun your words better last evening." He commented dryly, downing the last of his beverage before standing to walk the length of the room and fill his cup from a jug.

"Yeah well, I also took off my clothes then and it kind of helped with the not talking about it." She chuckled trying to defuse the prickly situation to something more amorous; making up was always much more fun than dealing with the issue.

"You find humour in this?" Well, he clearly had not taken that in the way she had intended, glaring her down as he forgot about his drink by placing it alongside the jug and giving her his undivided attention. "I am to be laughed at by you? Humiliated in front of my friends, peers, asgard and you come to me in order to look down and laugh?"

"No, that's not what I-"

"And what do you mean?"

"I jus-"

"To involve another, a boy barely a man and flaunt him under my nose, in front of our wedding party."

"He's-"

"If you were involved with another you should have said before bringing me into your disgrace-"

"Okay you can fuck right off!" Kari had one of those sixth sense things for people calling her a slut and it sure did send a spark running up and down her spine. "Don't you call me a whore you stuck up idiot!" Well that had him dumbstruck and caught off guard by a small woman storming across the room and jabbing a finger in his personal space. "Garthar is a childhood friend I haven't even seen him since he was like twelve or whatever and despite what you might think about me behind my back I don't fuck kids!"

"He is no child now." He frowned, moving his legs into a ready defensive stance as if expecting the ball of fury in front of him to start lashing out anytime soon, as was the way most asgardian disagreements went.

"I don't know what you didn't understand by 'haven't seen him since he was twelve' but I haven't been near him before this afternoon in order to fuck him." Kari growled, turning on the spot and beginning to pace in front of her would-be-husband as the folded cloak went back to being held firmly to her chest. "And why is this all about me fucking kids all of a sudden? Why the hell were you trying to force me to marry you if that's the kind of person you think I am? Hey, I might fuck our kids if I'm a kid fucker."

"Do not joke abou-"

"No! Don't you call me a kid fucking whore!" Her shout had morphed into a scream before reducing in volume as he recovered his drink again and decided to finish it to dull his super asgardian hearing. "I've told you over and over I don't want to get married! I just got back from real, honest to god, Hel, a Loki apocalypse on earth and you only got here, what, two weeks ago? Why the heck do you people think now is the right time for all this? I barely know you and you sure as hell know nothing about me other than my bra size! So don't you come at me with your 'no mood for my tales' because I am in no mood for your horse shit!"

"I do not mean to trespass, my friend," Fandral had wandered into the room with an air of anxiety and twitching moustache syndrome, "but hearing my granddaughter shouting from all the way down the corridor I thought it best to-"

"No! You either have my back in this granddad or you can... fuck off too!" She concluded with a pendulum swinging finger of accusation between the two men as if daring either to make the first move in dissuading her from having a good hearty bellow. "Don't you try to blame this all on me! This is not my fault! I never wanted to get married, you know I never wanted to get married, not now and probably not anywhere in the near future! But no, you all have to be acting crazy and forcing me into this backed up wall of a situation where I'm not allowed to say no or have an opinion or anything so what else am I supposed to do? You fight fire with fire so welcome to your own dose of crazy right back at you!"

Before either of her attending audience could get a word in edge ways, Karian Motter, was out the door making sure to pause and slam it shut hard behind her. The showmanship was really rather magnificent as if she had done that type of thing before and the desired affect achieved. Two men left alone somewhat puzzled about what had just occurred and pondering whether guilty or annoyed.

"Well-" Fandral began only to be interrupted by the front door bursting open again with a booming effect as if the wind itself had manifested mortal and blown it open.

"And another thing!" Kari stood in the doorway, free arm raised to point out the ceiling as if threatening lightning to attempt to strike her dead. "How dare you, Balder! How could you? Why the hell do you think it's okay to just snatch up a kid and hand it over to a crazy egomaniac to get mind raped and probably die just because he has a crown? You're supposed to be 'Balder the brave and noble' but you're nothing but a child murdering enabler and coward!"

At that, her final words fading into the acoustics of the room and yet still echoing in many ringing ears, Balder's expression turned a pensive shade of mauve as if attempting to match his attire. He said nothing, turning on the spot where he stood, clasped hold of the jug besides him and walked with no great hurry into his bedroom closing the door behind him with little more than a polite click of the lock as if to prove there were other ways to leave a room.

"Kari-"

"Don't you dare 'my dear' me right now, granddad!" Her arms were folded, tears prickling at her eyes as she arced her neck in order to allow her rumbustious curls to hide her face.

"No." Fandral exhaled slowly, moving towards her until able to place both hands calmly on her tense shoulders. "I was going to say, about time." He gave a light squeeze and smile as she looked upwards to give him a one-eyed pitiful look through her hair. "But, perhaps it could have come after Balder had recovered from this evenings entertainment."


	6. Author note

Heads up guys

So I'm in the middle of moving home and that's why there has been no updates of late. I probably won't be able to do much until February either though something may appear sporadically between now and then.

Sorry for the inconvenience and all that.


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